


The Flag

by Milotzi



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, implied BDSM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 20:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20180401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milotzi/pseuds/Milotzi
Summary: How Zelda and Faustus ended up feeling elated and having fun one dark Sabbath night.





	The Flag

**Author's Note:**

> S-E-X is for ancient people only. Well, adults, anyway. Over 17. 16. CAOS age. Go away if you're not. 
> 
> Let's pretend Faustus Blackwood turns out to be a nice guy after all. 
> 
> Written for #spellwoodweek on Instagram.It's a dramulet really, I guess.

Grandchild #1: So, grandpa, how did you and grandma meet?

Grandchild #2: How did you know she was the One? 

Faustus *stopping grandchild #5 from eating a Lego brick*: Well, you know grandpa once had grandma's job, and one day grandma wanted to talk to him… 

Grandchild #3: I bet it started with a kiss *makes smacking, then smooching noises*

All grandchildren: *giggling*

Faustus: ZELDA! 

Grandchild #2: Grandma's gone to church, grandpa. So, what happened next? 

Faustus: Ahem, well. *in his best teacher's voice* We talked some more. And then I, er, we decided to get married. Yes. *leaning back in his chair with a relieved sigh*

Grandchild #1: *in an accusing tone* Grandma said you had S-E-X

Faustus: What? 

Grandchild #1: S-E-X. She said you were having S-E-X. 

Grandchild #4: What's S-E-X, grandad? 

Faustus *groans*: What? 

Grandchild #3 *starts singing" S - A sound made by a snake, E - A sound that is in me,... 

Grandchildren #1, #2 and #4 *giggling* while grandchild #5 *starts chewing another Lego brick*

Faustus *taking the Lego brick away and handing grandchild 5 a spoon, which grandchild #5 immediately drops*: What did your grandma say?

Grandchild #2 *fast*: That we'd better take percussions because she's bloody well not bringing up another lot. Oh. And that it's only fun when you're older. Much older. Ancient. Like Uncle Methusalem on that photo over there. And why is it she can never enjoy a glass of pin or nor or two without being interrupted. 

Faustus: Well there you are. You should always listen to your grandma. 

Grandchild #1 *accusingly*: YOU and grandma weren't ancient. You aren't even ancient NOW, grandpa. 

Faustus *mumbling*: Oh yes I am, and getting more ancient by the second. 

Grandchild #2 *worried*: Were you not having fun? Because of the flag? I thought it was supposed to elate you? 

Faustus: What? What flag? What are you talking about? 

Grandchild #1 to grandchild #2: She said flagellation, dummy. When warlocks and witches of ancient times were too good they were punished. It's nothing to do with S-E-X. 

Grandchild #2: Oh yes it does. Flag elation and other S-E-X K-I-N-K-S she said. You weren't listening properly, dummy yourself. 

Faustus *blushing crimson*: WHAT? Why in hell would your grandma mention that to you?

Zelda *from the door, and having only overheard the last five words*: Mention what to them? 

Faustus and grandchildren #1-3 *quickly*: Nothing.

Grandchild #4: What's K-I-N-K-S, grandpa? 

Zelda *with raised eyebrow*: Really, Faustus, what HAVE you been telling them? They're children, for hell's sake. 

Faustus *looking offended*: Me? ME? 

Zelda: Never mind. Children, hurry along, quickly, Auntie Hilda is waiting in the car to take you to Sabbath night school. Say goodbye to your grandpa, quickly, quickly. 

Faustus *growls softly as he is being hugged by five grandchildren before they leave*

Zelda *closing the door behind them and turning round*: K-I-N-K-S? Really? 

Faustus *pouring each a glass of single malt, and handing her one*: It wasn't me. *grinning* It was the _pin or nor_ talking, I believe. 

Zelda *realizing it was she when she had emptied that bottle of wine and blushing furiously*: Oh. 

Faustus *grinning even more broadly*: So the High Priestess might be in need of some spiritual advice, hmmm? 

Zelda *smiling but still worried about the grandchildren* Hmm? 

Faustus *gently, but still grinning*: And I myself might be in need of some spiritual counselling by my High Priestess. And together with the properly painful punishment doled out, some fun might be had unless you feel we aren't ancient enough for fun. How does that sound? Hmmm? 

Zelda *blushing*: Entirely appropriate. *after a brief pause* Faustus.

Faustus: Zelda. 

_Narrator 's voice: And if you do not know what happens next you're either too young (Stern voice from off interrupting: What are you doing here? Can't you read warnings? Go outside and do something age appropriate and don't come back until you're ancient) or you haven't been paying attention. _

~The End~


End file.
